Audra Mariah

03:39 pm: Friends only Journal now ~_^ comment to be considered! : D
So yeah. No one reads lj anymore do they? sides shelley and lizzy...I've seen celesta around too. and only 1 of my denny's kids wait no I've seen lisa around : P. Hee hee^_^ I read your guys stuff just don't comment. I've finished watching King of Bandits Jing, S-Cry-ed, Ai Yori Aoshi, and now I've started watching that Tsubasu Chronical thing...(can't spell XP) the one where they throw the CLAMP characters into one world and make a new story out of it. It's really sweet. Got Beserk to watch after that and ummm whatever else I can get my hands on. One nice thing about having nothing to do (when I don't got studying to do) is I can watch all the anime I want. : D If only I could get a laptop....yeah ^_^ Still got 3000 ish to pay off my vechicle that I don't own and then I can actualy start saving and spending more. Only 1/4 goes to my payments, half to savings and 1/4 to spend....it's really not as much as you'd think either. School is going great. I'm really good with electronics! Who'd of thunk that? The only thing is really I'm sad. Just like I've always been. That funny happy sadness of mine : P Only a few would know what I'm talking about. It's lonely here. There's the artifical comfort that I don't get too involved with sides just resting against someone or something of that nature. I miss LJ. It's simple not as messy or busy. Yeah. I kinda like it that not many are here anymore. I feel like I can open up a bit more. hmm well I'm thinking of switching back to a friends only journal sounds good! ^_^ and that way I can get rid of people who don't lj no more. : D

06:23 pm: Audra-she understands...
"I want to pour out my heart but something stops me
Just my luck the words get stuck half way
Now I'm trying to explain but nothing's working
I can't find the words in time to help me

Now I fear it's too late
Past the point to resucitate our love
Baby it's too clear how
Only a miracle can save us now

So Do You Have Any Miracles with you dear?
Do You Have Any Miracles? I'm all out here
Do You Have Any Miracles? Any Miracles? Any Miracles?

I want to tell you how I feel - so sick and tired
Of going through the motions you require
And now the pain I feel inside is growing stronger
I don't know if I can go much longer

But maybe there's still a chance
We can rescue a seed of our romance
And maybe with a good fight
And a miracle we'll be all right

So Do You Have Any Miracles with you dear?
Do You Have Any Miracles? I'm all out here
Do You Have Any Miracles? Any Miracles? Any Miracles?

I'm fading fast; I'm not gonna last
I can see the light; I don't want to fight
It won't be long before I'm gone
Oh, can't you see? You're killing me"

07:02 pm: From basic!
Hey all from basic training! I'm on "base lib" right now. I'm graduating friday! :D and I love you shelley! It's all most time for your little punk to get out of there! YAY! I can't wait to see him. Thank you so much for the letters. they've helped. I passed all my requirements! Ran a mile and a half in 13ish mins and worrior week was awesome. MREs are yummy. Low crawling for as far as we did ....damn that was far. and I'm a perfect marksman with an assult rifle :D . Umm yeah scorpions all over! ^_^ I miss you all and will tty all soon! bai bai for now!

01:50 am: SORRY
ok this is Kelly, Audra's friend.. and I was suppose to post her addy so you all and write her... but I totally spaced it till now, SORRY!

Her Address:
Audra Oberloh
331 TRS/SLT 150 Dorm B6
PSC#3
1320 Truenper St. unit 369540
Lackland AFB, TX 78236-6095

WRITE HER NOW!! she can't write back though.. but I heard from her and she would love a letter ^_^

05:29 pm: bai bai for now!
only have 5 days left. I don't think I'll have much internet time till I come out of Basic. I want to say that I'm mostly joining the AF cause I want to obtain skills (aka go to school) to get a good job. So I can do what I want with my life. And I'd barely be able to get by trying to do it by myself and no support from anyone here. And if I have money I can stay in touch with people I want to stay in touch with and visit my friends and family far away. So that's the main reason I joined. ^_^ I'm not gone forever. You can always come see me or ask me to go see you anytime. : ) I'll still be here. Just drop a line or make a call. I'll be having a friend post my address here so anyone who wants to can write me. I'll be back again soon guys! Till the end of Jan!

Love,

Audra

03:24 pm: long time no post
I've been at myspace still cause that's where almost everyone is at. Let's see though. I'm in Alb at the moment. I'm leaving soon. 4 yrs sound like forever but I figure it's way better then paying to learn it in school. this way I get paid while learning. I got free food and houseing. And a lot of other perks. So just think that I'm going off to a 4 yr school guys and you'll feel better maybe. I feel like I can finaly get somewhere. I can get a kick ass civilian job afterwards and be able to live where I want to comfortably. : ) I'm thinking of the future. well I'm off for now! Don't know if I'll be posting here again for a long time so good bye for now!^_^

12:00 pm: Just wanted to say...
I've been focusing on my myspace instead. Feel free to visit and/or add. It's just that majority of my friends have moved over to it. http://home14.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user&DERDB=ZG9tYWluPWdtYWlsJnRsZD1jb20mc21va2VyPTAmc2V4cHJlZj0xJnV0eXBlPTImcmVsaWdpb25pZD0wJnJlZ2lvbj0mcG9zdGFsY29kZT0wJm1hcml0YWxzdGF0dXM9UyZpbmNvbWVpZD04JmhlaWdodD0xNjUmZ2VuZGVyPUYmZnJpZW5kcz0xJmV0aG5pY2lkPTgmYWdlPTIwJmJvZHl0eXBlaWQ9MiZjaGlsZHJlbmlkPTEmY291bnRyeT1JRSZkYXRpbmc9MCZkcmlua2VyPTEmZWR1Y2F0aW9uaWQ9Ng==&setonlinenow=1&Mytoken=692232AE-A45C-43F4-A6462923D30D3AD4830963984

07:27 am: Hey kids from the North Auburn "D"! And Everyone else, How-de-doo. Everything's been going all right. Time sneaking by and slipping through my fingers. I got my mind in the future, the now, and in the past. I don't have much direction in life now. I'm running away to the air force (finaly a job where I can travel!) I think I can escape the memories and my thoughts, at least that's how I looked at is a few weeks earlier. I let my memories back in and let them simmer in my head allday everyday. I've got my passion back now. I'm all the way there for my friends now too. I was so cold and cut off from people but I let go of trying to forget the people and the places. You think i'll make everyone and everyplace fade. But it doesn't. There's no fading. Everything is like remembering yesterday(unless you got a memory loss problem). You just get into the practice of thinking of everything else but then theres that part of you shut out and people are thinking there's something wrong with this person. Reason is that all those people and places will be a part of you forever. If you try getting rid of them/it(won't work you'll just be wrong), you just won't be you anymore. That's what I've learned over most this year^_^. So muah and buh bai people!. I'm going to catch the rest the way up on Naruto!

02:30 am: Love, peace, and war
Had a great Holloween! Played by ear the whole day and ended up seeing a bunch of my friends and hanging out. Mall crawling, passing out candy, saw domino, ate at Sheri's, and spending the night at AJs! Very eventful^_^. Last Tuesday I visited the base. Really nice place. I never noticed how much they are just like thier own little town. Great food that's free. Awsome shopping center with CHEAP prices. Dorms are really roomy and you don't have to share with anyone. We did PT first thing. I beat all the girls and one of the guys at the push ups and sit ups. I was 4th to last in our mile and a half run (out of 7 people). And all my times and numbers are good enough to complete the tests at the end of Basic Training. Learned also that in the military when you start to tire from push ups you can only rest in the proper up position and hold it as a break. Also found that its a good idea to pace yourself when doing push ups when you have a limited time. It was a real good time. Ooo! and I did a freelance photo shoot to help my friend make up more of his portfolio. I was mostly just running around and being crazy. And I got the photos too! I'll eventualy set up a gallery so people can see pics. ^_^...I had another friend put moves on me the other day : ( I hate it. Luckily I had something in my mouth and he could only go for my cheek. Now the uncomfortable akwardness >_< Gah! It really bothers me when that kind of thing happens. *sigh* But aside from that I've been well. I miss you guys. And Thanks for calling Shelley. I've been missing you. Love you! and little future Anni! I'll be able to pay you back before I leave for basic. *muah to all* TTY all later!

-Audra

If everyone cared and nobody cried, if everyone loved and nobody lied, if everyone shared and swallowed their pride, we'd see the day that nobody died.

05:10 pm: quiet days and long nights
Finaly one month left. Field trip to McCord tomorrow. Last day of work Nov. 30. After finaly seeing Maja after so long I got my passion for drawing back. I'm VERY pleased with my recent works. I'm already on the second book of the Dark Tower series : D. It's an easy book to fly through. I've been told to read it since Being a underclassman in High School. I did a freelance photoshoot to help a friend with his portfolio. It was fun^_^. Maja and I got lost in the wood again today. We took pictures and yada yada. Good times. Not much going on sides that. Rereading the previous posts comments; What a cute little squable. LOL It was like two chicks on the rag. >_> yeah ok bad metophor. Content I am. ^_^ I'll see ya guys later! Take care.

09:24 pm: no internet access sucks
2 months and I'm cut off from the world. I don't like my reasons for joining but it seems like the best way to get ahead. I'll have the money to get an awsome computer play online games and get a decent new car. I still can't let go. I haven't thought of many things in a very long time but it all came back just as strongly. Haunted I am. Right now I'm just working. Occasionaly hang out with a friend. Trying to get rid of most of my possesions. And paying off my credit care and now the car I just sold. Not long now. I miss the good old days and just keep wishing it would be like that again. I liked it when friends were always around. I haven't smoked in a long time either. It wasn't too hard to quit..well so far at least. So Shelley I love you and I don't know why you married that man either! Kelly your the greatest ever you really are. Nick is a FLAKE. And everyone now a days is on myspace so I got to shout out there. Bai bai all! Hope life is being good to ya'll!

07:20 pm: *doing a party dance*
My car is in my sister's possesion now. She's selling my car for me. So I've been getting rides to and from work. Haven't had to walk yet : D. Going to the PUYALLUP FAIR on Thurs! YAY! It's so fun! I hearts it! I've been excercising a lot in preperation for my up coming job. It's neato haveing them sculpted arms and body. Hmm I dunno been reading, drawing a bit recently, playing games, stuff. A lot of thing are going on with other people so it's been interesting. Nick hasn't been keeping up again *shakes fist* Where'd my best friend go! Gah! Whatever happened to bro's before hoes...but I guess I'm not a bro lol! I think it's funny how when you tell kelly something importants she ignores it but still makes you feel better lol! yeah^_^ I'm off for now bai bai all!

09:43 pm: I love my kitty
I got contracted a few days ago. Job 2E2X1 - Communication, Network, Switching, and Crypto Systems! I leave Dec 13th for Basic. Then because of Katrina I don't know where I'll be for tech school but I'll be going to more then one base over the next year of schooling. So YAY! I'm excited! I finaly shipped off Kelly's stuff! : D And umm got robbed at Dennys at gunpoint. It was awsome! The guy was a total beginner. He was really stupid and obvious. Caught him quick too. Umm a num a num... YEAH! ^_^ I'll talk to you guys later! BAI!

05:53 pm: Officialy property of the U.S. Government!
That's right I'm in the Air Force. Contract is signed! What a long two days it has been. No sleep. Blood taken. And grandpa felt me up! lol! At least I know I don't have lumps in my breasts. I'm extremely satisfied with the 5 jobs I've chosen. Com Ops, Loadmaster, (another com tech job), in-flight refuling, and space and missile communication and operations. And I have to report to my Sgt every monday by phone, 1 a month in person, and whenever we have a DEP meeting. I must also start training. Whoo! Your all civilians! Suckas! I can't wait till I can decorate this gov property with holes and tats! : D lol see ya people I need to crash.

06:34 am: Phone call smack down!
Well I just got "told"! Oh yeah put in my place. "You can't live your like thinking that everyone you know will some day let you down" Angels in the Outfield. Umm well everyone WILL someday let you down. But even that being true the quote is too. Ironic. It works. So today /night I realized that 4pm I'm meeting my recruiter to get put up in a hotel for the night and then be at MEPS 5am tomorrow. Physical, contract signing, and other things of that nature. I'm exicited nervous. I have found the perfect person to take care of my cat. She doesn't know if she can but she would be perfect! My dear Jamie^_^ Being around her makes me, me again. It's nice. All these things happening...knowing I could be dead by the end of next year, makes me remember all those good times I had as a kid. I remember the best school year of my life, freshmen year. That was a wonderful year. And all the funny pictures I have from back then. I'm seeing how to be me again. But seeing isn't being. Hopfuly I'll get there again. I need those good friends again. I think they'll show soon.^_^ Sad seeing life over before it begins. But it is the nature of life. No good without bad. No happiness withough saddness. No comfort without fear. No love without pain. Everything in life is a win/lose situation. And that's why we should treasure all those dark times in our lives. Cause without them we could never become as happy as we are or will be. I hope to hear from my friends soon. I'll be leaving this world behind so soon it's jumbled my mind. Fare thee well

"Every memory of looking out the back door
I have the photo that was printed on my bedroom door
Its time to say, time to say it
Goodbye, goodbye

Every memory of walking out the front door
I found the photo of the friend that I was looking for
Its time to say, time to say it
Goodbye, goodbye

Goodbye

We used to listen to the radio
And sing along with every song we know
We said someday wed find out how if feels
To sing to more than just the steering wheel

Kim's the first girl I kissed
I was so nervous that I nearly missed
She's had a couple of kids since then
I haven't seen her since god knows when

Oh oh oh
Oh god I

Every memory of looking out the back door
I have the photo that was printed on my bedroom door
Its time to say, time to say it
Goodbye, goodbye

Every memory of walking out the front door
I found the photo of the friend that I was looking for
Its time to say, time to say it
Goodbye, goodbye

I miss that town
I cannot believe it
So hard to stay
So hard to leave it

If I could I relive those days
I know the one that would never change

Every memory of looking out the back door
I have the photo that was printed on my bedroom door
Its time to say, time to say it
Goodbye, goodbye

Every memory of walking out the front door
I found the photo of the friend that I was looking for
Its time to say, time to say it
Goodbye, goodbye

Look at this photograph
Everytime I do it makes me laugh
Everytime I do it makes me..."

06:55 pm: Decided finaly
Will be leaving for BMT sometime in Oct. Will be signing for jobs, 3C0X1-computer operations, 3C2X1-tech control, and 3M0X1-information managment. After BMT, school in Mississippi for 3 months and then likely the sandbox but who knows. CDCs won't take too long and then I can go to college!^_^ I'll learn Japanese on my own time. It's easy enough. Don't know what I'll do with my cat : / I LOVE him! And I'll be without time for a long time. *sigh* And my mom watches me rather then the tv....creepy. And I do what I can to keep myself away from serious relationships. Everyone says how they wish they didn't get seriously involved or married so it just proves my point. But those damn instinctive urges...*sigh* it's a battle that I'll eventually lose but at least I can put it off for as long as I can. I'll be pissed if next year I decide the get engaged to some idiot(man...same difference). Well so long people.

12:44 am: I don't know what I wanna do!!!
I got options...my mom said if I don't want to be in the Air Force she'll pay for my tuition. But I won't get as far as I would being in the AF. Everyone is saying go for linguist. Which is I want to do anyways but that'll be a 6 yr enlistment. But I'll be making more money then anyone I know. Why the fuck not. If I stay here have my mommy cover my ass would make me as pathedic as a certain someone I know...and a few others besides. I've always taken care of myself and everyone else on top of it. I'll try and see if I can nab Japanese since I already know a decent amount of it. Then after that see if I can learn another language. I THINK that's what I'll do... I dunno. I've also been thinking about going in earlier then I originaly planned. October sounds like a good time. The only thing is I was looking forward to seeing Nick and Kelly for my birthday this year. I'll be in Monterey, CA at that time. Then after school I'll likely be wisked away to Japan. Don't really want to go all that much, to Japan. Well I suppose that's what leave is for! Gah what do I do?! *sigh*

02:56 am: Trip down memory lane
I just found an old txt msg I never sent but saved. I forgot about it and then was messing with my phone and found it. My heart-broken message:

I feel betrayed for the fact that I endured the hard times in december and when you finaly realized what you were doing I was there with open arms to take you back. I accepted you, loved you, and cared for you. When I did the same in reverse and finaly came around and realized what I was doing, you ditched. You let me fall to the hard ground below. Why? Why did you betray my trust and faith in you? I had no doubt that you'd catch me. But you weren't there...why?


Txt finaly sent. Mission complete! (Sorry folks! It was sentimental time.)

08:00 pm: took my ASVAB
My brain stopped working in the middle of it : /. But I think I did fine. Wouldn't it be just dandy to get stationed in Afgan, or Iraq? Yuck! Heat and sand. Just like ALB except they aren't all talk in the middle east. Trash everywhere just like ALB too. But then again it's not like I can go to college before I finish my CDCs anyway so by that time I'd be out of the sandbox. Later ppl!

02:38 am: First Visit to my Recruiter
I didn't really ask any questions at the office. I registered to vote, filled out the paper to take the ASVAB test (Request For Examination), tomorrow and took the pretest for it. I scored a 54 but that's just cause I accidentally clicked past the instructions to the vocab and didn't know what it was asking me to answer. And WOW it's been a long time since I've done math. I'm not good at math but I love it. I would like to get a person who can teach more of it to me. Oh and I told them all my health stuff. Did my recruiter need me to bring documents proving all of it? Hmm... She also said something about a school related program where they take 100$ a month out of your pay for your schooling? I need to ask about that again. She also told me that the air force has their own community colleges and that you can go to a local college and earn/keep the credits for the classes you take. Also that they pay for all the classes you take while enlisted even if the class is unrelated to your job. I know I would like to learn at least one other language (Japanese and Russian are my top two. She also said that they are in need of more Russian and Arabic speakers), I would like the learn about computers, medical field, and space related programs. When I heard about the space jobs I got all star-eyed. That'd be amazing to be a part of no matter how small the job. I was told that the Air Force works with NASA on projects. That got me excited. I read in the Airman magazine that you can learn to fly a jet even if it doesn't have anything to do with your job. I quote, "For some Airmen, flying in an aircraft has nothing to do with their job duties. But don't let that keep you from flying. Find out if your base has incentive programs to fly in military aircraft, or hop on a training or refueling flight."

Sides all that mom driving me crazy as always. And ummmm lots of boringness going on. I gunna do something CRAZY! Watch me!